our week with zeeke

Karen brought home a bag of foam bath toys in the shapes of letters, numbers, and sea creatures this week and Zeeke's been going out of his mind for them.  He wants to take a bath just about every night now and will happilly keep playing with them long after we've drained the tub.  He enjoys trying to spell words (and invent new ones) with them.

Zeeke did not have a great week at school.  He got in trouble for hitting his friends and not listening to his teachers.  Time outs haven't been working there (although they're still very effective at home) so they've been putting him in the baby room when he's bad, which seems to be shaming him into behaving better (along with being denied television at home).

Friday, Zeeke's day care closed early so he and Steve did some watercolor paintings in the afternoon.  

Saturday, after insisting all morning that Steve needed to hurry up and drive him out to West Philly for dance class, Zeeke took one step inside and refused to participate at all.  It was a tense drive home.  In the afternoon, we drew some pictures and performed some shows with some animal finger puppets Karen brought from home work.  Zeeke even insisted on sleeping with some of the puppets that night.

Sunday, we had a long, fun morning at the playground with Jen & Amelie.  Zeeke & Amelie led a group of younger kids around to collect all the acorns.  Then all five of us went to Birra for lunch.  In the afternoon, we headed to a different playground with Tanya & Lettie.  Zeeke & Lettie had a blast trying out all the new playground equipment and showing off their climbing skills.

Zeeke asks if he can paint all the time now.  He'd rather make art than watch tv.  If only he would eat his meals a little faster, so that we had more time to honor those requests.

Wednesday, after school, we visited Zeeke's friends Asif & Sofia after school.  

Saturday morning we went to the playground and then to dance class.  After dance, we walked down St. Alban's Street, exploring the gardens.  After nap, we headed out to visit Jen, Kim & the twins.  Zeeke had a great time bouncing and swinging with Jack & William, eating corn & steak & hot dogs, and dancing with Karen and Aunt Kimmie. 

Sunday morning, Karen's mom came to visit.  We went to the art museum for their Art Splash program.  Zeeke built a porcupine/turtle, drew a picture for their wall, built animals out of magnetic shapes, hung leaves on a tree, and took a fun kid tour of the museum.  It was a really great time.  After lunch at the Kite & Key, we got him down for a late nap, and then made some paintings and hung some of the planets that he's been making on the basement door.

This weekend, Zeeke saw a radio transmission tower and excitedly declared, "It's the Eiffel Tower!"  We complimented him on recognizing the similarity, then told him what it actually was and that the Eiffel Tower is in France.  He listened closely, nodded his head, and then looked back at it and said, "No, that's the Eiffel Tower."  His little observations are a joy, but, oh man, the kid loves to argue.

When he senses he's not going to get away, his typical strategy of late is to throw a tantrum, but once in a while he manages to keep his cool and take a try at negotiating.  Since the latter often gives way to the former, it's not always an improvement.  We know we're in for it when we deny him something and then a moment later he says, "I have an idea!"

He's demonstrating some regression (which usually means he's learning some new skill).  This week, he's been asking us to draw things instead of drawing them himself and he's been asking us to feed him again.

Wednesday, we went to the Farmer's Market again with Sadie and her parents.  This time Steve brought money.  Zeeke had him buy romano beans, peaches, and one red pepper.  We listened to the tolk singer that was playing and Zeeke kept asking, "Daddy, do you know THIS song?  Who's Mrs. Robinson?"  And then he played "Ring Around the Rosie" with Sadie.

Saturday morning, we drove out to West Philly.  We checked out the turtles and koi at the Eco Pond.  We went to a dance class where the parents had to stay outside, which was kind of nice.  We snuck a few photos through a hole in the door.  After class, we went to Clark Park with some of the kids and parents.  After playground and picnic, we headed home for a nap.  

Saturday afternoon, Grandpop Bob Bob (Karen's dad) came up for a visit.  He brought a big bag of presents including toy sharks which he especially loved.  We went to the art store and stocked up on paints, brushes, paper, markers, and glitter glue, then came back and made paintings.  Zeeke was so happy that he painted a painting of his paints.  Then we went to dinner at Birra and made a late evening stop at the playground.

Sunday, we went to playground with Zeeke's classmates Asif & Sofia, then also ran into Amelie and August.  After nap, we made more paintings and then turned some of them into planets.  For some crazy reason, we let Zeeke have candy today.  Never again!

Conversations with Zeeke:
"Daddy, when you were a little kid, you lived in my belly, and then when you got bigger, you came out of my penis and that's why you have a penis and I have a penis. I am your daddy and you are my daddy."

Zeeke really loves art.  We draw in the mornings, we draw in the evenings.  His drawings are getting easier and easier to recognize, despite quite a lot of them being crazy action scenes.  One of our ongoing art projects this past month has been making planets and hanging them on out chalkboard door.  

Tuesday, Zeeke got two timeouts today for attempting to incite group nudity at school.

Wednesday, on their walk home, Steve & Zeeke ended up accompanying his friend Sadie and her parents to the farmer's market where Zeeke was very disappointed that Steve didn't bring money to buy him the veggies he wanted.  Steve promised to do better next week.

Saturday, after a quick trip to the playground, we went to dance class where we ran into Therese & Beatrice.  Zeeke wasn't quite as into it as he was last week, but we'll give it another shot.  After nap, we went to his cousin Jackson's first birthday party where Zeeke had a bal and ate way too much sugar, then stopped by Terri and Matt's house to see our friend Kathy who was visiting from Cape Cod.  Zeeke enjoyed meeting Terri's turtle and immediately started calling her Aunt Terri.

Sunday, all three of us went for an epic trip to the playground where we ran into Zeeke's pals Amelie and Colette.  When we were done, the whole mob of us went to Nam Phuong for Vietnamese food and lots of toddler hijinx.  After nap, we headed out to Jersey to hang out with Katie, Dave & Greta.  They grilled up a lovely dinner and then we went out for water ice and saw a bunny.

Conversations with Zeeke:
"What did you play at school today?"
"Barbies! And Babies! And Potatoheads! And then I told everyone to take off their clothes!"

Zeeke's new line when we tell him to apologize is "Zeekies don't say they're sorry."  We put him in time out (ie sitting on the bottom step in the living room) until he says he's sorry (and what he's sorry for), but his tough little toddler pride makes him amazingly stubborn.  He'll sit there and sob for the longest time, occasionally pausing to reitterate his argument "But Zeekies don't say they're sorry!" like it's an indisputable fact that we're somehow failing to grasp.  

In addition to his longstanding claim that he is Karen's real husband, Zeeke has recently started trying to marry Steve off. He's selected various women and girls that he says can be Steve's wife.  Possible new nickname:  Yentapus Rex?  

Thursday afternoon we got a call to pick him up because he had a stomach bug.  Zeeke showed no outward signs of being ill so we headed out to the playground where he played with a girl named Rosie.  

Friday, we kept him home from school again just to be safe.  In the morning, we went to playground where he played with Rosie again for a good long time.  When we finally left, they had to say goodbye about two dozen times.   For dinner, Steve & Zeeke met up with Ali & Delano and Jen & Amelie at the pop-up garden.

Saturday, all three of us went to Gold Star Park with a card for Zeeke's dog friend Luna, but sadly she wasn't there.  After that, we went to a free dance class where Zeeke had a fantastic time and amazed us by how he followed each and every direction the teacher gave.  After his nap, we went to a swell books and snacks party at our friend Karin's house and then met a bunch of friends at Vietnam Cafe in West Philly. 

Sunday, we hit the playground in the morning and then went out for gelato after dinner.

They moved Zeeke up to the bigger kids class at school last week and the transition's been a little tough on him.  He really misses his old teacher Annie and his friends that won't move up until next month.  He always used to say, "Good!" when we asked him how his day was, but now he just says, "I want to go back to Annie's class."  It's sad, but he does say that he's enjoying the writing practice the bigger kids do and he's gotten great at writing his name.

Shoes have become an ongoing concern.  His favorite pair of blue sneakers are falling apart, but he still insists on wearing them.  We took him shoe shopping and even found ones with his favorite cartoon characters on them, but every pair was either "too tight!" or "too loose!"  Finally we found a pair of broken in shoes in the exact same style as his favorites and he declared the fit to be "perfect."  But after we walked half a block home, he changed his mind and said that he couldn't wear them because they were brown instead of blue.  Three year olds!

Saturday, the construction was done at our old playground (Colombus Square), but Zeeke insisted on going back to Gold Star to see his dog friend Luna again.  Sure enough, Luna was there and we got to pet her and even draw her picture.  Unfortunately, we found out she's moving to California in two weeks.  Sad!  After naptime, we got out the watercolors and made a bunch of paintings.

Sunday morning, Zeeke drew an amazing snowman and then we headed out to test the new ground coverage at Colombus Square.  We found it better for running and playing, but worse for chalk drawings.  It was nice to have the swingsets back.  Jen & Amelie joined us for a while and then after they left Ali & Delano came by.  After naptime, we spent a while tracing his Play Dough creations and coloring them in.  After that, we met Liz for dinner at the pop up garden.

Conversations with Zeeke:
Sadie: "I'm going to walk with Zeeke!"
Zeeke: "I'm going to walk with Sadie!"
Sadie: "I'm going to walk with Zeeke!"
Zeeke: "I'm going to walk with Zeeke!"
Sadie: "Wait, how are YOU going to walk with Zeeke?"
Zeeke: "Two Zeekes!!!"

After we read a book where Henri Matisse was drawing pictures of his grandchildren:
"Daddy, I want grandchildren!  Can I have grandchildren?"

Making decisions has become extremely painful lately.  Deciding what he wants to wear or what he wants to eat can take forever and is torture for everybody involved.  His desire for perfection causes him to crave options that are not available, his indecisiveness makes choosing a second best option laborious, and his contrariness forces him to automatically reject any suggestion we make. 

He is still afraid of almost every possible external danger, but at the same time acts as though there's no way his own actions will ever harm him.  Even a small dog on a leash now turns him into a trembling wreck, but he'll bravely climb and jump off things like gravity is his best friend.  He loves to run, but is yanked back by an invisible chain if he senses that he's more than ten yards from us.  That said, we did make a little progress on those fears this week.  

On Thursday, at Purple Flower Mountain (a safe fenced-in space), he managed to follow his friend Sadie a lot farther away from Steve than he can normally handle before panicking and running back to him.

On Saturday morning, since our usual playground is still under construction, we went to Gold Star Park, which has lots of lovely shade, but no swingsets.  The biggest difference though is that it's basically a dog park with a playground in the center, so there were dogs everywhere with no barrier between them and us.  Every few minutes, Zeeke had to throw himself into Steve's arms because a dog got too close.  If we weren't meeting friends there, Steve might have taken him home or to another park.  But then something amazing happened.  A dog named Luna and her owner sat down at a nearby bench.  After we talked about how cute and fox-like Luna looked, Zeeke actually asked if we could pet her.  Fortunately, Luna and her owner were more than happy to comply.  Zeeke was still afraid of her face (he has strong feeling about doggie kisses), but delighted in gently petting her back and tail.  Jen & Amelie arrived and the kids had a fine time playing on the jungle gym and meeting other kids.  One of their favorite games was putting Amelie's cat doll to bed and then waiting for Jen or Steve to say something so that they could run over and tell us to be quiet because we were waking the baby.

When we got home from the park, Zeeke worked dilligently on a birthday card for his friend Lettie.  After his nap, we went to her birthday party.  He couldn't resist the urge to pick a handful of the cherry tomatoes from their garden.  Fortunately, being told he had to eat them wasn't too rough of a punishment.  After pizza and cake, the kids had a spectacular time getting wet in the sprinkler.  

On Sunday, Zeeke asked if we could go back to the same playground so that he could pet Luna again.  Sure enough, she was there and Zeeke got to pet her.  Then he petted another dog as well!    When we finished at the park, we headed over to the classic car show on Passyunk.  Zeeke's favorite was a snazzy old pickup truck painted yellow and blue (his two favorite colors).  We ran into his friends Zack and Jacob.  Eventually, we settled in at the craft table for stamps and markers.  Karen joined us and we all went out to Birra.  After his nap, Zeeke wanted to have a tea party, mostly as an excuse to eat cookies.  When that was over, we did some yoga.  Zeeke is extra adorable when he's saying "Namaste."

Zeeke has heard adults say they love his "little voice" so often that he now thinks we each have a little voice in addition to our normal one: squeaky, tiny, and high pitched.  He sometimes asks if he and Karen can read a book together in their little voices.  Once in a while, we use the concept to lower his volume when we're in a public place ("Let's talk in our little voices!").  This weekend, Steve's family delighted him by all singing Happy Birthday to his cousin Connor in their little voices.

With the exception of an insane tantrum on Saturday, he was a bit mellower this week.  We've noticed he tends to be calmer when only one parent is present.  Maybe having both of us there is too stimulating or maybe he's too greedy for our full attention and doesn't like sharing us with each other.    Still he loves it when we're all together and he loves groups hugs.  One day, Karen and Steve were hugging while Zeeke was putting his shoes on and he said, "Don't stop hugging! Wait for me!"

For a while now, he's been asking us how our work was at the end of the day.  Lately he's been asking for more and more details about what we do at work.  When Steve tells him he was writing at work, Zeeke gets excited and says, "Did you write my name, Daddy?"

Karen was holding onto a baby bouncer for one of her co-workers this week, so Zeeke and his friend Amelie got to relive their childhoods by taking turns climbing in and pretending to be babies.

Thursday evening, we went to the pop up garden with Jen & Amelie.  They were out of most of the items on their menu, but Zeeke and Amelie still had a ball playing together, despite the presence of a large dog that Zeeke had to carefully avoid.  They rode home together in Zeeke's stroller again.

Saturday, Steve & Zeeke arrived at the playground to find most of it blocked off for construction.  We played a little on the big kids playground and colored in some bricks, then headed off to Target.  In the afternoon, the three of us were walking to an errand but Zeeke couldn't stop crying about the shoes we made him wear, so Steve turned around and took him home.  That made the crying turn to screaming.  His tantrum about not being able to go on the errand was so intense that Steve suggested they draw how they were feeling.  As they colored, they expained what emotion was represented by each color in the chaotic drawings.  It seemed to do the trick.  

Sunday afternoon, we went to see Steve's family.  Zeeke enjoyed seeing everybody, although he wanted us to spend a bit too much time outside in the blistering heat.

Zeeke's wild new emotional displays are no joke.  Wednesday, after school, he had his first serious temper tantrum.  He and Steve were on the way to Purple Flower Mountain (see previous entries) with Sadie, Asif and Sofia, when Zeeke suddenly felt the need to call someone "Stupid" (not even sure if there was a who or a why behind it).  Steve took him aside to calmly talk about it, but Zeeke refused to say he was sorry.  He was sobbing and fighting, so we had to send the other kids on without us.  As Steve started carrying him home, he really went into convulsions.  He was crying, thrashing around, and screaming "No!" at the top of his lungs.  Fortunately, they ran into Karen on the way back so that it looked less like Steve was kidnapping him.  When we got home, he threw himself down in the foyer and sat there by himself, sobbing his head off and trying to get the front door open so that he could run away from home.  Finally, after about twenty minutes, he wound himself down and poked his head out with a mischievous little smile. 

We've been trying to offer him more and more choices about what he does, eats, and wears, which he likes.  The hard part (which is so far eluding us) is teaching him to make those decisions in a reasonable amount of time and to live with them once he makes them.  

Saturday morning, we had a long trip to the playground in the morning.  Zeeke played with his schoolmates Amelie and Evan.  Zeeke and Amelie were dawdling on the walk home, so Steve suggested they ride together in Zeeke's stroller, which they loved!

Sunday morning, we were back at the playground.  Zeeke played with his schoolmates Zoe, Odin, and Amelie.  Unfortunately, sharing the stroller with Amelie didn't go quite as smoothly the second time (too much elbowing and complaining).  For lunch, we added a new food to the list of things he'll eat.  He requested fish for lunch, but we all had was canned tuna so he had his first tuna salad sandwich.  After nap, we met up Nick, Nadine & Zoe at one of the summer pop up gardens for dinner.  Zeeke & Zoe had a great time playing with the blocks and hula hoops in the play area.

Zeeke's displays of emotion are becoming increasingly sudden, volatile, and intense.  If he ends up more than a few yards from us while playing, he'll scream in terror and run back to us sobbing.  One night, he was misbehaving so badly, that we had to threaten to remove reading books from his bedtime ritual.  He scoffed at that and continued disobeying, so (for the first time in three years) we put him to bed without books and he was outraged.  For the next fifteen minutes, he jumped around his crib, screaming, "You... can't... do... this... TO ME!!!!" over and over.   

In better news, Zeeke has started reading a little bit.  He can sound out the letters just enough to help him remember the words in his favorite books.  In his drawings of animals, he now draws environments around them like trees and grass (although he doesn't like more than one animal to be in a single picture).

Thusday, school let out early (for Fourth of July weekend), so after his nap, Steve & Zeeke went to playground where he had a great time playing with his schoolmates Asif, Sofia and Esme.

Friday, Steve & Zeeke dropped Karen off at work and then went to the zoo where we met up with Mike, Beth & Esme.  Zeeke showed a lot more interest in the animals than he did during his last trip, but his favorites parts were getting an ape tattoo, watching a film about the big cats, and eating an ice cream cone.  Zeeke and Esme rode a camel, which was super cute.  Unfortunately, we paid a price for that ice cream cone.  Back at home, the sugar in his bloodstream turned Zeeke into a wild creature that we didn't even recognize as our son.  

Saturday morning, we hit the playground and the Acme.  In the evening, we went to a party at Nick, Nadine and Zoe's where he got to play with a bunch of his classmates.  He and Amelie had a lovely time strolling home from the party together.  Fortunately, he was worn out enough to fall asleep even with the South Philly amateur fireworks display going off all around us.

Conversations with Zeeke:
"Where are we going?"
"To a party."
"Is it a barbeque?"
"Yes."
"Good!  I like meat!"

Zeeke freestyling in the bathroom at Liz & Kate's
"My name is Little Zeekey
I took a little leaky
I cannot walk on soap
'cause it's too slippery for me!"